unraveling

had a bit of a mental breakdown today. sometimes i wonder how many other people have this type of brain explosion i seem to experience every coupla weeks or so. it literally feels like my head is going to explode. it seems to creep in as i'm trying to make a coupla decisions when, all of a sudden i have the capacity to see every possible outcome all at once. if someone is around like a lover or family member, they are likely to witness objects flying and ridiculous outbursts of hateful words. these spells come and go and i wonder if i will be like this forever. i wonder if these emotional brain explosions are what make me an "artist". maybe they are what make me seem unique or intriguing to the outsider who only gets to witness the storm brewing or the calm thereafter.

anyway, i feel like a total dork writing this and taking myself so seriously. its just like, where the fuck does it all come from? i think i know. maybe i will just have to spend the rest of my life unraveling.